Boyz in Da Hood

2005-08-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

My son is the product of the modern "blended" American family. He even has 5 gandmothers!!! (OK, three are actually step-grandmothers). Anyway, my son's family looks like this, as far as children are concerned:

He has 2 half-brothers

He has 3 male cousins on his father's side

He has 2 male cousins on his step-father's side (my husband)

He has 2 male cousins on my side, who are the lovely children of my sister.

AND

I just found out I'm having a baby boy. What the hell does it take to get some girls up in here? I mean, this is a family of 11 boys and no girls. 11. If you role the dice 11 times, what are the chances that you will get the same outcome 11 times??? It is a statistical impossiblity!!!! Who will be the child that I get to impart the joys of Jon Fuevog shoes to? What young person will help me aceccorize when I am too old and blind? Who will I call and dish gossip to when all the kids are grown and moved away? Who will be the child I get to take out for an ice cream sundae when they get their first period? And most importantly, who will I get to buy those adorable little baby girl clothes for? Who, I ask you?

Looking through the lists of thousands of boys names online, I felt sad. Boys names are so boooring. I had an awesome girl's name all picked out and now it will go completely to waste. Sigh. Sure, if I were living in China I would feel blessed 11 times over. But I am an American who wants to buy cute Baby Gap clothes for girls with cute matching tights.

My husband tried to reassure me that our son might be gay. I guess that would be cool, but I still couldn't dress him in baby girl clothes, or give him a girl's name. Let's face it, it would just not be the same. Plus he'd be bringing more men home as boyfriends. Great, that's just what i need....MORE men in the house. Sigh....................

Hoochee Mama

Boyz in Da Hood